Today I received a letter that looked kinda important, perhaps a bill, a check, or some notice… I opened it faster than you can say “galvanic skin response.”

The envelope (click for larger image):

The letter (click for larger image):

DRAT! This was an ADVERTISEMENT! From a company that had nothing to do with me. Words like “phishing” and “those bastards” came to mind. I’m sure if I would’ve called them, I’d be stepping into a financial hard-sell trap. But on another level, I was impressed with the cognition-focused engineering they’d done.

Here are some of the interesting (and certainly intentionally designed) facets of this mailing that made it particularly sneaky:

1. The envelope - very “bill” looking, no logos or fanfare on the outside, window, my name on a form with some numbers visible. “I better open this, it looks important.”
2. The pink color - since grade school, report cards and other scary things have come in this pink hue, along with its carbon copy cousins, pastel green and pastel yellow. “this looks kinda official.”
3. The long digit strings - these look like account numbers, or record IDs which make the reader feel like the sender is an agency where their account already exists. “I guess I just forgot my loan with this company.”
4. ALL CAPS - sure, this is an indicator of spam, but it also makes me a little NERVOUS WHEN I’M READING SOMETHING IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. “Whoa, this is a big, nerve-wracking announcement.”
5. “PLEASE CONTACT US AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE, TOLL-FREE AT 877…” - The hint that it is urgent, and requires immediate phone contact with a representative. “Whoa, they want me to call? This isn’t a minor thing!”
6. “REGARDING YOUR STUDENT LOANS” - Owing money is scary per se. “Yikes, DEBT!”
7. “THIS IS NOT A LATE PAYMENT NOTICE” - mentioning by not mentioning, a la Lakoff’s “don’t think of an elephant” example. Simply the mention of a late payment of a big loan FREAKS people out. “WHOA, have I been paying my loans off???!!!”

The letter reads:

IMPORTANT: {Your full name here}

{Your personal mailing address here}

Dear {Your first name here},

PLEASE CONTACT US REGARDING YOUR STUDENT LOANS AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE, TOLL FREE AT (877) 680-9891.

THIS IS NOT A LATE PAYMENT NOTICE. NEXTSTUDENT IS NOT YOUR CURRENT LENDER.

HOURS OF OPERATION
MONDAY-FRIDAY: 9AM TO 11PM(EST)
SATURDAY: 10AM TO 6PM (EST)

RESPECTFULLY,
NEXTSTUDENT
(877) 680-9891
www.nextstudent.com/consol

YOU CAN CHOOSE TO STOP RECEIVING “PRESCREENED” OFFERS OF CREDIT FROM THIS AND OTHER COMPANIES BY CALLING TOLL-FREE 1-888-5-OPT-OUT. SEE PRESCREEN & OPT-OUT NOTICE ON REVERSE FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT PRESCREENED OFFERS.

489XXXXX-XXX-XXXXX60

Sure, this is a low-budget looking mail in many ways, but the problem is, I’ve received official mails about student loans that looked lower budget than this.

Of course, this is just another company who wants to make money off of my debt, and is willing to use scare tactics to get my attention and therefore a greater probability of attaining my money. One can only imagine this technique in more sinister contexts (including a payment envelope, aiming at people with “bad” debt, aiming at non-college-educated debtors). I read the back of the envelope, and it says that they queried one of the three major credit bureaus and “met initial criteria.” Are these bureaus, charged with protecting my identity, and keeping track of everyone’s credit history, just giving my information up to any crappy lender?

Snail mail has come a long way since the days of “You May Already Be a Winner!” (odds of winning: 1/310 million).

I took out student loans to go to college, just like 35% of undergraduates these days (source: National Center for Education Statistics). The average graduating college senior has $17,600 worth of student debt on graduation day (source: Center for Economic and Policy Research). Debt can certainly be a major source of stress. Student loans may be the single source of debt for many college grads who are savvy enough to avoid the more painful pitfalls. And while student debt is often tabbed as the “good version” of something that’s generally bad, that’s no consolation when people try to play with your emotions. GRR. If this hoodwinks a single person, it’s just not right. Does this cognitive dissonance chaff work for elections? Is the line between legitimate enterprise and sleight-of-hand scam-artist blurring?

(On a whole different note, OCR is better than I remember)

Anywho, this letter infuriated me because it caught me in a vulnerable spot, and I immediately thought of the thousands (?) of people who’d receive this letter, designed to make borrowers feel like something is amiss with their big loans.

It’s not just financial predators who make their mailings look more like mailings we’re more likely to open. Have you guys noticed this too? And I don’t want to just throw around the word “predatory,” there are far worse in the land. This appears to be a legitimate lender, but it’s just scary that these would be its tactics, and that there’s nothing technically WRONG with this.

Is there a way to “opt-out” of those annoying mailers that come basically EVERY DAY? Like a do-not-call list? Or can I call the distributing companies to take me off their list? A lot of the trash I get isn’t aimed or addressed for me. However, when it IS, and when it WORKS, even for 2 distressing seconds, I get peeved.

I hate getting into anything that feels like an arms race. But as consumers (I actually hate when “human” is replaced with “consumer”), we have to keep up, increasing our skepticism, and maybe protecting our children.

photo by Ian Westcott